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MALE SEXUAL CHANGES

Performance Power or Passionate Partner?

Men, how much of your sexual self-esteem is ^X J/ p contained between your legs? If your answer is "Not that much," then let me ask another question: "Have you named your penis?" Rarely does a day go by that I [Jim] don't receive spam e-mail touting penis patches, pills, and potions. The advertising would be laughable if this media blitz didn't result in apparent sales. The ads promise "massive" growth in length, girth, and stamina for your "tool." The messages promote the notion that "bigger is better," that the penis has an identity of its own, and to have less than a rock-solid ejection is embarrassingly unmanly.
What is the message to those of us who are aging? Unless we hold on to youthful firmness in our erections and actually increase their length, we are sexual failures. This media barrage and type of advertising is incredulous to me in its immaturity, and it demeans masculinity. I don't believe a pill promoting "penis performance power" will reverse the aging process or make me a "passionate partner." Dr. Barry Bass referred to this phenomenon as the "sexual performance perfection industry (SPPI)," and he describes this concept as follows:

The message of the SPPI is designed to create feelings of inadequacy and to remind men (and women) that we do not "measure up" and that we never will unless we become regular consumers of the industry's products ... [The implication is that] good sex equals intercourse and requires a hard penis that stays erect throughout a sexual encounter. This definition of "good sex" changes the basic nature of a sexual encounter from one of intimacy and pleasure to one of achievement and performance.1

Both men and women struggle with the aging process and the effects it has on their sexuality. Though it shouldn't be true, our culture discriminates against the aging person. A man's ego is affected by performance. Concepts like strength, stamina, production, and physical prowess are valued. Many centuries ago the philosopher Descartes avowed, "I think, therefore I am." Many men continue to believe that one's very existence and value, both personal and sexual, is more accurately viewed as "I am erect, therefore I am." This man will naturally be concerned as he experiences aging and normal changes in sexual performance. He may wonder about his erection not being as firm and requiring more stimulation to achieve it. In youth he could look at a nude body and instantly get firm. Occasionally, now he experiences some degree of impotence (or what is now referred to as erectile dysfunction), failure to achieve an ejaculation, or prevention of some activities due to an aching back and muscles. He begins to question if he will continue to enjoy sexual pleasure and be able to bring true enjoyment to his partner.
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