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THE "WATER" OF INTIMACY

From God's Love Manual: A Biblical Celebration

A wonderful scriptural passage for us sex therapists is Proverbs 5:15-19:
Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love, (NIV)

We could paraphrase this for wives:

Rejoice in the husband of your youth.
A gentle stag, a strong deer—may his hands and mouth satisfies you always, may you ever be captivated by his love.

The Bible often uses water as a powerful and fitting metaphor for cleansing, healing, and rejuvenating. There are beautiful images like "streams in the desert," "water of life," and "beside the still waters." What a tremendous portrayal of the dynamic nature of lovemaking to compare it to a cistern, a well, a stream, and a fountain of water. It is like a cool, refreshing drink from your own safe supply.
In one way, your marital sex life is like a cistern in which you have stored many amorous, erotic memories and a repertoire of arousing activities. You can dip into it again and again in your fantasy life for excitement and fun. In another way, making love is like a stream or spring of water. Sex in marriage has an ever-changing, renewing quality to it.
A routine sex life is not God s design, especially when maturity can help us learn new attitudes for enriching our intimacy. I appreciate the words rejoice, satisfy, and captivated in the Proverbs message. Pleasure and fun are an intended part of making love. It is important for mates to enjoy playing together. We can rejoice with the mate of our youth. Our creativity, imagination, and love allow us to remain enthralled with our lifetime lover.

An Erotic Celebration
Sex is an erotic celebration that only those over fifty can fully appreciate. As part of the paradigm shift, let us redefine the term erotic beyond the shallow Hollywood recreational concept of erotic that lacks depth or values. Eros, the Greek word for sexual love, includes the idea of fusion, passion, attraction, and bonding. Erotic love is getting lost in someone's eyes. Erotic love is mental imagery, anticipation, playfulness, ambience, and lovers physically enjoying each other. Song of Solomon contains many beautiful images of erotic love:

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is better than wine. (1:2 NKJV)
My lover is mine and I am his;
he browses among the lilies. (2:16 NIV)
Your two breasts are like two fawns . . . Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits . . .
You are a garden fountain,
a well of flowing water . . . Let my lover come into his garden
and taste its choice fruits. (4:5, 13, 15-16 Niv)

My own vineyard is mine to give . . . Thus I have become . . . like one bringing contentment. (8:12, 10 NIV)

These passages so beautifully and poetically describe the erotic passion of three-dimensional lovemaking. Sex is the curious and excited exploration of each other's erogenous zones to create pleasure. We as lovers are to entrust our private parts to our mates, for, indeed, "my own vineyard is mine to give," and we should learn to have no shame or inhibitions with the genital area. We can create stimulating atmospheres, sharing choice fruit and drinking till contented from the flowing water of our sexual relationship.
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