GOD'S IMAGE AND THREE-DIMENSIONAL SEXUALITY
From God's Love Manual: A Biblical Celebration
Scripture has several examples of celebrating sex after age fifty. Abraham and Sarah not only had sex in their nineties, but actually conceived Isaac. (We're sure you are ecstatic that God hasn't chosen to duplicate such a miraculous conception in your golden years.) Luke 1 says the parents of John the Baptist, Elizabeth and Zechariah, were "very old" when she conceived. And if you're looking for inspiration, Noah was over five hundred years old when he fathered his sons. The Bible contains wonderful concepts that can enhance lovemaking at any age.
Genesis 1:27 states, "God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" (nkjv).Wow! God's image is reflected in both masculinity and femininity and the way these aspects interface and are attracted to each other. Gender and sexuality give us insights into the Almighty. He values differences and similarities within a complementary partnership, excitement and nurturing, procreation and recreation. Bottom line: God wanted to reveal Himself by placing a priority on intimate loving relationships, so He created man and woman and sexuality.
In further developing His metaphor of sexual intimacy, the Almighty gave man and woman three dimensions to their sexuality: body, soul, and spirit. The apostle Paul, seeing the importance of this concept, prays, ''May God himself, the God of peace, make you pure . . . Mау your whole self—spirit, soul, and body—be kept safe and without fault" (1 Thess. 5:23 NCV). These three parts of our selves are interwoven dimensions. In making the paradigm shift in these mature years, it is important to balance the soul, spirit, and bodily facets of lovemaking.
These dimensions join together to create sexuality and intimate relationships. Our bodies beautifully combine hormones, blood vessels, nerves, and skin to create attraction and desire. Our souls involve our minds and imaginations, wills and choices, and hearts and emotions.
Our spirits give us true love and create the ability to become "one flesh" (see Gen. 2:24).
The apostle Paul deals with the fuller meaning of sexual interaction and intercourse as he talks about the temple prostitutes in the pagan worship of Aphrodite (1 Cor. 6:9-20). Some of the Corinthian Christians were getting sexual excitement and release by visiting the temple prostitutes. He writes, "Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods ...The body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord ... Do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For 'the two,' He says, 'shall become one flesh.' . . . Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit?" (w. 13, 16, 19 NKjv). Paul emphasizes that sexual union has an emotional and a spiritual dimension; it is not like eating a meal or casually satisfying a bodily desire. Sexuality is truly three-dimensional, with body, soul, and spirit.
Without this three-dimensional companionship, sex becomes another buzz or fix that loses its perspective and has increasingly diminishing returns. Going on a roller coaster or eating a big steak is fun, but we wouldn't want to do that two or three times a week the rest of our lives. Marriage to our soul mate—that is, the spiritual, mental, and emotional merger of wife and husband— allows sex to be ever new and exciting. Sex is a means to an end and never an end in itself. Making love unites and excites, but the relationship gives the context and meaning. Without true three-dimensional lovemaking, we find that sex becomes an activity (like eating steak or shooting white-water rapids) that quickly loses its dynamic appeal.
1. Sit across from each other nude and gently place a hand over each other's heart. In the quiet, feel life pulsing in the body of the one you love. Close your eyes and sense the closeness that is being allowed by a person that needs and loves you.
2. Look deeply into the window of the soul, the eyes, and communicate love with no words spoken. Eye-to-eye sex is special, and it doesn't have to include constant eye contact.
3. Write down and practice some of these affirmation statements: "When I hug you for a minute or more, the world disappears," "I don't know why you adore me, but I am glad God gave me to you," "When you are inside me and hold me tight, I feel we blend into a oneness I can only feel but not describe." Okay, so you may need your own words, but say them out loud.
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